Another one bites the dust

There are certain episodes in your life that shake you to your very core, and disturb you in ways you couldn’t even begin to fathom. One such episode occurred last night when I was sitting down to watch Eastenders and was forced to witness a sobbing Samantha Janus sing Cher’s ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ to her dead daughter’s coffin. No wonder the girl gormlessly walked into an oncoming car…

There are some traumas that not even the most adept power-showers can wash off.

Which got me thinking about the nature of death, funerals and music in general.

When a rare 70s soul track was played at Jade Goody’s funeral recently, a herd of Jade-ites from Essex reportedly bombarded their local HMV with requests for the track.

Staff at HMV revealed they were inundated with people trying to get their hands on a CD of ‘Ooh Child’ by The Five Stairsteps….and I quote, “it obviously had a real impact.”

This might be a controversial confession to make, but of all the tunes I’d imagine Jade picking, this one ain’t one of them. Thinking about it further, the song choices you make during (arguably) the two “biggest” events in your life – marriage and death, say an awful lot about how you view yourself, and….more importantly, how you wish others to view you. Are the two necessarily compatable? Of course not…

When Hunter S Thompson was laid to rest, he ensured the oppositive would happen in true Gonzo style by having Johnny Depp fire his ashes from out of a canon to the tune of Bob Dylan. Not bad, not bad at all…

Which singular track sums you up?

When I asked folks to send me the songs they’d like to be played at their wake, the results were gloriously eclectic: from The Who, to The Stones, Patti Smith and Green Day…

Top marks, however, goes to my mate Guy for revealing he’d like to be cremated to the melody of Prodigy’s ‘Firestarter’. Guy, if you’re reading, you win a mars bar.

On record, the official list of the most popular tunes played at funerals range from the predictable, to the bizarre, to the sublime.

Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Way’ took the gold medal, but up there with him sits AC/DC with ‘Highway To Hell’, Queen’s ‘Another One Bites The Dust’ and Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’.

Which just shows the divide between people who still wanna wind people up at their own funeral, and those who are determined to get every single member of their congregation miserably blubbing into their cut-price Tescos flowers.

In fact, the UK top three is currently:

1. ‘My Way’ – Frank Sinatra/Shirley Bassey
2. ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ – Bette Midler
3. ‘Time To Say Goodbye’ – Sarah Brightman/Andrea Bocelli

Which only goes to show how many deceased people still lack musical integrity – even in the afterlife.

For the record, the song I would most like played at my own funeral is T-Rex’s ‘Cosmic Dancer’.  Closely followed by: Verve’s ‘History’, Melanie’s ‘Little Bit Of Me’, Cat Steven’s ‘Lilywhite’ and PJ Harvey’s ‘The Desperate Kingdom of Love’.

So someone please write that down before some Co-Operative idiot whacks on Bette Midler…

Ta. I’ll leave you with Marc Bolan:

2009 Sneak Preview

 

It’s the eve of 2009. Time to make a few predictions in terms of what to look out for next year. I aim to add to this list in the next few weeks, so consider this Part I…first installment…whatever.

Beirut ‘March of the Zapotec’ (February 16)

He sounds like a Hungarian gypsy and he made us all fall in love with 2007’s ‘The Flying Club Cup’. I’ve been waiting for a new record all year, and I’m pleased to say his third is no disappointment. In fact, I’ve just had it on full blast this afternoon. Ingeniously divided into two EPs, the first picks off where ‘Flying Club’ left off, delving into Mexican folk music with the help of a small-town Mexican funeral band (frankly, we wouldn’t expect anything less.) The second, entitled, Holland is a contrasting departure from stereotyped-preconceptions, delving into synth-pop with his own indidual flare. It’s a fantastic follow-up.

DM Stith ‘Heavy Ghost’ (March 9)

Right, I’m very excited about this next one. I didn’t think you could get much better than Antony Hegarty, but David Stith can now count himself officially initiated. This is a mind blowing record. I listened to it all in one sitting with my jaw on the floor. His friendship with My Brightest Diamond may help to describe this debut, but in all honesty, this is one of those cases where words always seem to fall short…So I’m inclined not to ruin this with a botched attempt at a review. Morphined wanderings in a moonlit forest may just get us half way there, but I doubt it. Do me a favour, get your hands on this album in 2009. 

Antony and the Johnsons ‘The Crying Light’ (January 21)

Make this your first record purchase of 2009. Go on, I’ll buy you a mars bar. A king size one. Anyone who knows me will know about my love for Antony Hegarty. In my eyes, he is one of the most original, heartfelt and truly awe-inspiring artists around. This new record is breathtaking. I think I prefer it to ‘I Am A Bird Now’. If you haven’t already discovered Antony and the Johnsons, make this record a must-have.

PJ Harvey ‘A Woman A Man Walked By’ (March 30)

It’s finally here. I’m very excited, Yes, I have heard it. Yes, it is amazing. No, this isn’t the last time I’ll be blogging about it.

PJ Harvey Returns…

 

Who else is excited as I am at the prospect of a spanking new PJ Harvey record?

 

Yes, the daddy-long legged rock ‘n’ roll siren is back…and I for one cannot wait for her return next year.

 

‘A Woman A Man Walked By’ will be released on March 30, in collaboration with John Parish…And having had the divine priviledge to hear the album a few months ago, I can confidently announce that Polly’s latest material is a breathtaking return to form, harking back to her early ‘Dry’ days.

 

For me, PJ Harvey represents everything a female artist should be but rarely ever achieves. Having written a fair few ‘women in rock’ features in my time, I guess my thoughts on Polly our best summed up through some words I wrote a few years ago:

 

“Where Polly Harvey succeeds is in her celebration of female sexuality in a man’s world. When the long-legged Harvey stood on stage in Reading Festival in 2001, skimmed by her tight mini-skirt and suggestive black boots, rocketing out raw thrills on her guitar, an iconic picture was created. The guitar need not be a phallic representation of the male ego: it could be used and manipulated by women to create a different sound. This wasn’t a bid to be accepted or different, it was a display of equal expression. When ‘Is This Love’ kicks in on ‘Stories From The City…’ exploding through the speakers with thrashing, grinding guitars, the deep raw expression of unashamed desire punches a mark. It’s opinionated. It’s unapologetic. And it takes no prisoners.”

 

In a current pop-climate stodgily saturated with the likes of Madonna and Katy Perry, her graceful presence has been sorely missed. Roll on 2009.

 

In the meantime, lets enjoy one of my favourite Polly tracks ‘Horses In My Dreams’, with those dreamtalking, dreamwalking lyrics:

 

Rode a horse around the world
Along the tracks of a train
Broke the record, found the gold
Set myself free again

I have pulled myself clear